Saturday, December 26, 2009

San Jose day

Today Julie and I visited the Winchester Mystery House. We took the "whole she bang" tour. Very cool, very freaky and pretty cold. That place was some kind of drafty. Very cool visit.

Later, The Tech Museum and the Star Trek Exhibition.

Um....

AWESOME!

I have a photo of me in the "big chair" that I'll share later as well as a shot of me in the transporter. The displays rate a 4 out of 5. There were a lot of costumes from the various shows and movies as well as some props and recreated props. I read in Via Magazine from AAA that the bridge set was from the series, though I'm not to sure about that. Overall the tour was nice, but I liked the Mystery House better.

Tomorrow, Monterey!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Chrsitmas!

I don't "get" to do chemo today! In fact, I'm done! Whoo hoo!

Last night was Christmas festivities at my parents house. Freakin awesome just to be there. My sister and her family trip me out with the terrific gifts they find. Being a big Star Trek freak, my sister always finds the neatest stuff. My sister's boyfriend was there too as well as his son. His daughter arrived with his granddaughter as a surprise. That was so cool! His granddaughter was a treasure!

Today, I actually slept in until 7! That's a skill I'd like to learn, sleeping past 4.

Today we're going to Julie's Uncle's home to spend some Christmas time with them.

Then, a few days experiencing, "first star to the right and straight on until morning". We're just going to go and have some "Stan doesn't have cancer" and "Julie would like to get away" time. It's going to be a blast.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The red shirt...

Lately it seems that if I were guest staring in a Star Trek episode, I would be the fella wearing the red shirt.

Today, however, I was treated to a very nice surprise. I had to run to the Post Office to mail off some Christmas goodies. I got there just before the door opened. About 30 people had the same idea I did, get there early. I was a little nervous thinking, "this is going to take forever." With only three clerks working the counter, I was certain my fears would be realized.

12 minutes later, I'm out the door. My transaction, as well as the 20 or so folks in front of me, was complete!

Fabulous!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Things I want to learn and do.

I want to learn to focus on one thing at a time. Doing three at a time is not only impossible at this point, but it never was very productive.

I want to learn to breathe when I get frustrated.

I want to find out why every contractor I deal with is incompetent. Yesterday's fiasco was a discussion with my mail order pharmacy about why they seem to continue to deliver my maintenance meds to my home I lived in 3 moves ago. The first young woman was quite nice, but couldn't help me. She sent me to a "resolution agent" who was equally unable to help me. "We have to pull the conversation to confirm that you did indeed tell an agent your new address. If we determine that you have indeed notified the agent, we will call you within 24 to 48 hours to arrange for a new shipment to the correct address?"

Now I'm insulted. Three times I have phoned and corrected the address because I've caught the error on the company's web site prior to shipment. You now tell me that you have to confirm that I said that? Really? Mighty fine. We are done doing business. I'll go to my local Safeway now. Sure, I'll pay triple for my meds, but I'm betting that they won't ship them to the wrong address and that I can pick them up on my schedule, not 7 to 10 business days.

I want to give something back! I'm working on becoming a volunteer.

I want to lose 10 pounds and never find them again.

Todays goals:

Continue with the turkey jerky project.
Make stock.
Make a terrific dinner.
Help Julie begin the Christmas cooking. (This is were the breathe part will come in handy. Today I'm the grunt, just follow the instructions)

Pretty easy day!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Chemo brain and power outages!

Okie Dokie!

The lights just dimmed, then got really bright, dimmed again... and poof. It's dark.
Shortly thereafter the lights came back on and I'm like, "Crap! All the clocks are flashing 12:00."

I hope that I can figure the darned things out. I had fits setting clocks before chemo!

A side note on Sissy Sushi...

Once the chemo burns out of my system, I can do real sushi. You can't have real sushi while on chemo because your immune system is taking a pounding and adding the potential risk of raw fish is frowned upon.

Yesterday was just cool 'cause I felt like I was being a bit of a rebel.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Sissy Sushi! And AT&T bites ass.

Today I had Sissy Sushi.

That is, I went to Safeway and bought a cheapo plastic box filled with a California Roll that included "no raw fish". The rice was sweet, the wasabi was glorious, and I can still operate chop sticks.

I made a dental appointment! Yeah!

I gave an AT&T rep a hard time. BIG hard time. "Did we provide you with excellent service today Mr. Carman?" My reply using my best patient voice (you who know me know this voice well) "Absolutely NOT!" Her reply was, "well thank you for calling AT.... WHAT?!?!? you got bad service?"

Lookie here sister...

It took me 25 minutes on wait (not hold) to get to Wayne. That is AFTER I spoke to your stupid menu system... "Ok... let me see if I heard you right."
Wayne lacked the skill sets or authority to answer my question, "How much longer on my DSL commitment?"
Wayne forwarded me to DSL Tech Support.
Nearly immediately, I got Chris.
Chris was made to look like an idiot by AT&T. He gets to read the script, but cannot answer my question, " How much longer on my DSL commitment?"
I get to wait on hold for 10 more minutes before I get Myra who barely speaks Engrish and is ready to "provide me with excellent customer serveece."
I finally get my answer and she asks me if I got "great customer service"

UH OH!!! Here comes Mr. Hyde!

NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Lookie here AT&T...

While my puny little local phone line, my DSL and my petty little 5 cell phone accounts will not be missed by you when I leave... and I'm sure that just under 300 buckeroos a month will not be missed by you...

I shall not miss your piss poor attempt at customer service.

By the way... the company I went to for my cell phone service had a human that picked up on the first ring.

The company I am choosing for my phone and internet gave me 2 choices when I phoned and a human picked up on the second ring.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!


... and the wisdom to know the difference.

I so wish that I had the skill sets necessary to practice that little saying. There are things in my life, or things that are around me that I just don't get to control. That bugs me big time! It is so very hard for me to keep my mouth shut at times and let those in control take care of things.

So, I have a little disruption going on in my life and it is truly stupid that I let my blood pressure get all up in a froth over it. I can't share a lot of details, but I vow to not let it take me over. Somehow, I'll get "the wisdom to know the difference".

Changed up the blog color template this morning. Blue wasn't working for me. Yay! Something I can control!

Again, this morning, I'm reminded that chemo and checkbooks do not mix. There are times I feel like a dumb ass when I see how badly my checkbook register is kept up. I mean, it's not like I'm not trying... it's almost hit or miss though. The good thing is, all my chemo buddies say that I'll start getting my "marbles" back between six months and two years.

Today I plan on tackling my daughter's bathroom. That is one place that makes me shudder... other than her bedroom, and I'm frightened to go in there. I would need my GPS, a good terrain map and a compass to find my way back out.

Speaking of my daughter's cave, I was completely impressed yesterday. For a moment, I thought the dish and the spoon had indeed run off together... and bred! My kitchen sink was full of a variety of plates, saucers, bowls, silverware, glasses and cups. I think someone needs to have "the talk" with the dish and the spoon. I'll wager that the ants leave the cave now... no food laying around in half empty dishes anymore... well... for now anyway.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Good news!

Ok... the short version:

While the CA 19-9 marker is climbing, my PET/CT scan is clear. VERY clear. So, we watch over the coming months/years and see what's going on. That's great news!

Now the longer version:

I went in for my last chemo visit. I was a bundle of nerves. I was shaking and emotionally a mess. I warned my RN that my blood pressure would be up because I was expecting bad news form the doc. It was up! 150/97.

The doc arrived and we discussed my numbers. He indicated that anything could bring that marker up like a change in meds or even an infection. Later, after thinking it over, it's probably this gnarly rash I have on my hands from the Gemzar.

Finished with the doc, and went home to crash and shiver.

I'm feeling a lot better now that the scans came back clear.

Now I get to wait a while and do the following:

Visit the dentist! Once this round of chemo is cleared I can have my teeth cleaned.
Use a toothpick!
Shave with a razor routinely.
Sushi!
Being able to remember again!


Then! Make it to my first birthday following diagnoses and treatments.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Last chemo day

Ok... I just want today to be over. I go in for chemo in 1.5 hours. While I'm getting pumped up with the lost dose (better be)... I'll also be meeting with Doc Hayward to discuss this weeks PET/CT scan.

There's a lingering feeling of dread that I just can't shake. Maybe he'll have good news?

I'll post more this afternoon after I shake off some of the initial chemo crap.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Yesterdays PET scan

I just love working with a sensitive, competent staff. Yesterdays PET scan went very well. And they actually did a combo CT and PET scan.

I picked up my copy of the disk for Stanford and took a gander. Well, I see hot spots in the slices, but actually my understanding of what I see is probably a lot like ancient man's interpretation of the stars. "That one looks like an archer. Ooo that one looks like a lobster." That kind of stuff. So, while the images look pretty slick, I'm going to leave the analysis to the pro. We'll see what Doc Hayward says on Friday.

Yesterday I ran into a fellow combatant. She and I spent a great deal of time chatting. It was nice to speak with someone who "knows". That's not to imply that others aren't concerned or don't understand, but someone with a common bond really has some awesome insight to offer from daily survival to the care and feeding of loved ones who just want to help.

Today I get to do lunch with my sister. I'm really looking forward to that. She's my bestest bud in the whole world.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

The difference between a PET scan and a CT scan.

Hiya gang,

A lot of folks I run into have been asking me the difference between a PET scan and a CT scan. I have both coming up.

The PET scan is next week. PET is Positron Emission Tomography. What happens is I report to the imaging center, they give me one of those hot ass-less evening gowns and they take me a dark, quiet room. No, not for that silly! My RN comes in with a little lead toolbox. Inside the lead box is a little vial of a gamma isotope. I get injected with this isotope and I get to sit very quietly and try not to even think for like 15 - 20 minutes. The isotope will lodge into active cells, in my case, cancer cells eat up the isotope like candy. Then they put me into the big donut and scan my body. The images that are created will show any new cancer that may be growing in my body. Likely, since my markers are climbing again.

In January, we do another CT scan at Stanford. We go to Stanford because they have higher resolution scanners than what's available in Chico.

CT is x-ray computed tomography. In this procedure, I drink a pineapple-barium smoothy the night before, and another cup of the same stuff in the morning. They take me to the scanning room and hook me up to an IV. Then they drag out this wicked looking arm that would fit right in a Star Wars movie and hook me up. They inject 300 cc's of iodine into me...all at once. I get the taste of a penny in my mouth and then heat runs through from my arm, into my shoulder and clear down to my toes... really fast... really hot... really weird. Then they take the scans.

At some point, my surgeon at Stanford will compare the disk from the PET scan that I bring (that the Chico imaging center does NOT charge me for). Later, my oncologist will compare the two disks (one that Chico does NOT charge me for and Stanford charges over 200 bucks for). Hopefully we'll find out what's growing in me so that we can get it out of there.

So, now we're all caught up.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Next week

PET scan in Chico next week and a follow-up with the Oncologist on chemo day.

Man, I feel so out of control right now. Waiting bites.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

To quote Han Solo...

"I got a bad feeling about this"

Yeah... that pretty much sums the day up.

I went in to find out what my CA19-9 marker was. For those following along, I went from 13 to 16 to 16 to 50 something now to 93. Normal is 0 to 35.

Crap!

We now have "cause for concern". I'll be going in for a PET scan locally as well as the CT scan at Stanford in January. The last scan in October was clean, as far as my surgeon at Stanford was concerned. Now though, markers keep climbing up.

*sigh*

I'm back into wait mode, and that is not good at all.