Saturday, November 28, 2009

And then there was one...maybe.

Turkey day was a blast! I"m so glad it came the day before chemo. Terrific food, wonderful family and some intense silliness reigned supreme over the day. It was awesome.

Chemo day went alright. Julie was able to go with me this time. Boy! I sure know how to show a girl a good time! Nearly 4 hours of boredom watching me go from great attitude to sniveling baby. Whoo hoo.

My RN's, bless their hearts, were trying to figure out what cycle I'm on. It turned out to be a nasty math game. Not knowing if I was to get chemo, or if I will have had enough when my next appointment hits. They finally had to call my oncologist because the orders weren't specific enough. Good news was, he was on call. The bad news is, he wasn't returning his calls. Hmm... that seems odd to me, you're on duty and you can be reached? When he finally did call, his cell phone was breaking up (bet he went home to the Bay Area). All of the RN's on staff each waited their turn to ask their questions.

Finally, got m y meds and was able to get the heck out of there. I am so glad I have only one more left.

However, if I get extended past December I'm going to cry. I grow weary of people poking me. I'm tired of getting ill every other Friday. I'm ready to be normal again, at least as much as I can.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Kitty Keemo

Hah!

The evil twins got their shots yesterday. I compared it to "kitty keemo".

Tuffy had it so bad, her eyes were both looking the same direction. She was having fits finding the litter box without her eyes crossed. I guess when you've lived your life like most drunks, seeing more than one potty spot, finally seeing just one (with straight eyes) was just a trip for her.

Today was terrific!

Lunch with Cindy was a god send. Getting to see my old friends at the school was pretty cool too.

Got to grab a quick beer with Rick before I had to jet for a meeting with Social Security. That was great too, but someday I have to slow my life down enough to be able to spend time with Rick when he's able to slow his down enough. Juggling life events is tough on us "old farts".


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The afternoon thinking

Ok...

So after an afternoon of thinking, being pissed, being spooked and being pissed again... I've finally got myself thinking straight and settled down.

Nothing I can do right now to change anything. The marker number is what it is for now.

I'm going to phone in and get my PA to request bloodwork ASAP so that I can sleep properly. Until then, I'll just do my best to not worry.

Coming up:

Lunch on Friday with a high school classmate, former co-worker, and friend but most importantly, a survivor! That will be a nice get together for me.

Lunch on Monday with a former high school classmate and one of my bestest buds! Sister of a "combatant"! Another great opportunity for me.

Sometime between now and turkey day a get together with another high school classmate and another of my bestest buds!

A weekend trip out of town...well... doing some shopping in the Bay Area and get to catch up with Julie's family. That will be so nice! I'll also get to show off my Buddha belly zipper!!! They haven't seen it yet. :-)

Son of a ....

Well... I'll leave out the rest of the statement about questionable ancestry.

I just got back from an appointment with my oncologist. My most recent CA19-9 is 52... or 56.... either way.. freaking high since the normal high end is 35.

Doc says a lot of things could kick that number up, even (gasp) a mistake. So, I went 13, 16,16 and 52. We're going to watch the marker, they check at the next chemo visit. Doc also indicated that my last CT scan was perfect, so the high marker is likely not anything to worry about right now.

Right! I feel like the fighter in a cage match who was holding his own and then suddenly finds himself answering, "Friday" when asked "Do you know where you are?" after being put to sleep with a rear naked choke hold.

This will be a long wait until the next blood work.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Chemo and checking accounts do not mix.

So, after 3 months of not getting any bank statements for my new account, I finally visited local bank and got it squared away. I finally got my back statements and began reconciling my check book.

Holy smoke! Nerd boy couldn't handle getting everything entered for the last two months. I had some items entered into my register, some entered into my computer, and some that I hadn't entered in either.

I'm not really sure if it's chemo, or I've just allowed myself to over complicate things. One thing is certain, I really need to be more careful with my "data entry".

Monday, November 16, 2009

Oh! What a kink in the neck!

Yesterday I operated a shovel for the first time since my surgery. I think I tweaked something big time. I can't bend my neck! I visited my chiropractor for the first time in 6 months, and she was tripping out! She was really checking out my hot Buddha belly ;-)

She made me go "snap,crackle and pop" and I'm feeling much better now.

Chemo sucked.

I got my rash back on my thighs, neck and hands. It'll go away in a few days if it's anything like last time.

My attitude is better today.

Starting to get my filing under control! Yeah!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

And then there were two...

Two left to go. For that I'm very grateful.

The staff at the infusion center are pretty terrific folks. The RN who was working on me yesterday spent a lot of time talking with me and helping me to understand the crap I'm going through right now. We think we have a plan that will help with the "ickys" for the next month. The "ickys" and the blues too. Come Monday, if I'm still blue in the gills, we'll be taking steps to "elevate" my mood.

So far this morning, I don't feel too horrible. Not great, but not horrible.

I got laid off on yesterday. That's good news. Being back to work while on chemo was a lot more than I had bargained for. It'll be nice to have the break while I finish up the chemo and get my head screwed back on.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Chemo day today.

Today, if my numbers are ok, I "get" to do chemo.

After today, two left.

*sigh*

This is getting so hard.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dang it

Today I stayed home again.

I'm as blue as can be.

I barked at my oldest, who is now pissed 'cause she didn't have it coming and I was not getting it at all and gave it to her anyway. Dumb ass!

I left the freakin pan on the burner... AGAIN! Thank goodness I was right in the living room.

"Gee, what's that smell?"
"Dang it! Not again!"

Tomorrow has got to be better than this.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Brain spins...

Today I left work early. My little bit of gray matter just started over thinking everything and I went into a tail spin.

It's really amazing how fast you can go from "perfectly good mood" to completely emotionally overwhelmed. This is all taking it's toll on me and I'll be glad when it's over.

The really cool thing... one of the evil twins must have known I was feeling blue... she climbed up in my lap and made me pay attention to her....

OH! It's not because I'm blue? Darned demanding cat ;-)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday and why I feel sorry for parents.

Yesterday was quite rough. I'm tired as hell and I think I must be fighting something more than chemo. The oncologist indicates that all is well though. I can go in for a visit if issues persist any longer. Oncologist suggested Benadryl cream for my little rash to stop the itch.

Now, why I feel sorry for parents. I woke at 4:15. I let the evil ones out of the office to feed them. Before I could read a note from my daughter letting me know she went to her mom's house, my door bell rings. WTF? At 4:30AM? I peak out the window of the door, and there's a young man there. You know when you get the idea that opening the door for some guy that looks maybe 18 or 19 at 4:30 may be a bad idea?

Well, I opened the door. Turns out the kid was lost and wanted to call his mom. I retrieved my phone and let him make his call. "Mom, I'm cold and it's late, can you pick me up?" Sheesh... late? Dude, it's 4:30... us humans call that early!

I ended up having to speak to his mom so that she could find out where her son was. I let her know a great place, well lit, to pick him up and gave him directions.

I'm really lucky that my kids have their crap together.

OH! The funny thing was, "Dude! Did you have surgery?", he asked marveling at my "zipper" running the length of my hot Buddha belly. I replied, "Nah. I have liver cancer." He went pale. That was funny.

On his way out he asked, "Do you smoke weed, dude?".
No was my answer, my thought was... that's why you're lost dimwit!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Monday stunk!

I spent yesterday at home feeling icky. I got a Jim-Dandy of a rash on my legs and tummy. I'm going back to work today, but I'm still feeling like... um... blah/yuck/itchy.

I'm going to call my oncologist's office today, but they're probably just going to tell me to pop some Benedryl.

Finally... my cats are evil and they have no clue that the time changed. 2:30 is WAY to early to be getting up.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ouch!

Chemo this week kicked my butt. I thought I was going to hurl right there in the infusion center. I got home and tried to remain in good spirits, but wow.. I was feeling WAY icky!

Yesterday was better, but my legs and forearms were cramping like crazy. Then, in the afternoon, I felt like my acid reflux had come back with a vengeance. I guess I should have skipped the dill pickle with a ginger ale chaser.

This morning, reflux is still kicking me in the butt. That bugs me a lot :-(