Well Shit!

Well guess what? Our little trip to Stanford was ended with shitty news. First indicators are that the cancer is back. My elevated CA 19-9 marker plus the results of this last CT scan show that I have two small images in my left lung (each smaller than a pea) and one in the area near my liver where they removed the lymph node in the last surgery.

My surgeon is in contact with the tumor board, specifically a Doctor (Sue)... I've already forgotten her last name. They are going to discuss "what's next" for me and make recommendations to my new doctor here in town.

Surgery isn't an option in this case, because though he could easily scoop out the current offending little shits, it won't take care of others that will come up in the future.

Since the Gemzar didn't appear to work, I guess we'll be looking at other wonderful flavors of toxicity. Great! Just Great!

I'm physically up to another round of force fed toxic drink mixes... but I just don't know if my mind is up to it. I'm going to have to reach really deep to find the balls to go on with this... and I will... but my heart just isn't into it right now.

I dropped the CDs with my scans on them to my doctor and hopefully his office will call in the coming week to discuss my next battle plan.

Part of me is scared out of my wits, the other part of me is just in shock.

Now ... where did I leave my cool red Star Trek top?